Thursday, April 06, 2006

Going to the Gym.... Part 2

After yet another productive evening spent at the gym I observed some other personalities that seem to be prevelant in all gyms.

Spring Chickens: No this is not a commentary on the physique of these individuals nor is it a commentary on their bravery (or lack thereof). No, these are folks who come into the gym at certain times every year. Key dates for sighting Spring Chickens are: the day after Thanksgiving, for the two weeks after New Years, a week prior to spring break, and a week prior to Memorial Day. Outside the gym, these Spring Chickens can often be spotted running on the first warm day of the year only to pull a muscle and stop running for the remainder of the year. They are typically seen overdoing their lifts, running too hard on the treadmills or bikes, and doing a lifetime of sit-ups in the span of ten minutes.

Executives: These are not necessarily office managers or captains of industry but named such simply because they love to wear dress socks and/or shoes while working out. Their gym bag is usually filled with the right combination of clothes except for the shoes and you can often see them walking about feeling a bit conscious of the fact that they are the only ones not wearing sneakers.

Sweaters: Sweaters are just that, they sweat. Hey, we all do, especially when working out, but sweaters are people who seem to release torrents of water at the least sign of physical exertion. Most are conscious of the fact that they may sweat even more and will make efforts to contain or clean up any resultant messes. However, some love to use the equipment and leave little pools for us to occupy when we take over the machine in question.

Killjoys: Killjoys are the people who come to the gym either out of tremendous pressure from friends and/or loved ones or because they sub-consciously want to work out. They are called killjoys because every little activity is accompanied by complaining and whining about any number of things. Common complaints from Killjoys include: "That's too hard." "I don't wanna do that any more!" "No sane person would ever do this!" and the ever popular, "What's the point in all this if all I'm going to do is put the weight back on after eating one hamburger?"

Remora: Remora are the little fish that swim along underneath sharks in the ocean and nibble on whatever a shark kills. The remora at the gym are the people who don't want to pay a trainer or make an appointment with one and will 'stretch' or pretend to wait for a machine while a trainer is working with a paying client in order to pick up pointers and ideas.

Buds: Buds are named after the young stage of flowers. They are the folks who are new to the world of the gym and as such don't really fall into any other category. They have the potential to turn into any of the above categories or remain, like the majority of us...

Normals: Normals are folks who go to the gym on a regular basis in order to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle. We use our machines and move on. We clean up after ourselves. We don't strut around the locker rooms in the nude. We don't grunt like bears when lifting weights. We acknowledge our fellow Normals with a smile and a nod. Basically, we act normal! ;-)

Now that you have a better idea of what to look for when going to the gym, please take time to observe these characters for yourself. Your time at the gym will pass by much more pleasently as a result! I guarentee it!



At 8:08 AM, Anonymous ATAQ -Rep. Eire said...

man you got waaay! too much time on your hands to be writing tripe like that! haha looser, lol

At 11:43 AM, Blogger robynkay said...

Jay, Having been a regular gym goer in the past (although not currently), I can totally relate to your comments and find them quite true and amusing.


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