Thursday, May 18, 2006

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch?


I have worked in the corporate environment since the age of 14. I conveniently bypassed working in places such as McDonald's or the Gap or other such 'traditional' places because I wanted to work towards something that would eventually help my career. That and the fact that the paychecks were so much better. As such, some of the niceties associated with 'office life' have entered my consciousness and have become more of expectations rather than extra special treats. Case in point? Catered lunches.

Anyone who has spent time in corporate offices will tell you that on occasion there will be a meeting or seminar where higher ups will be brought in to attend. Since they are the guests, they are provided lunch at the company's expense. Normally, most good office managers will estimate more food than will be required. And that's a good thing. It would be bad form not to have food for everyone in attendance. But what about the rest of us 'peons'? Obviously we're not invited but does that mean we don't get to partake? Nonsense! Of course we do. There are certain rules to deal with is all.

For example, in our office yesterday there was a pretty big meeting that called for a catered lunch. There were various sandwichs and chips and sodas. But my eye was on the dessert tray. Here they had one of my weaknesses. Chocolate brownies topped with M&M minis. I have a mild addiction to chocolate and those brownies drive me mad. I happened to be in the lobby when the food arrived and like a sixth sense... I didn't see dead people but I saw chocolate brownies with M&M minis. All afternoon I kept hovering close to the area where the food was kept. Now before you all get judgemental on me... at least I have the courtesy to wait for the guests to have their share. Some folks just show up and nab what they want regardless. That's bad form right there.

So I waited and hovered; trying hard to spot a window of opportunity in which to go and nab my brownie. I constantly had my coffee mug in hand whenever walking to the printer in case the brownie was free so then I could get it and a steaming cup of coffee. I waited for about half an hour after lunch was eaten to go in and make my move. I swooped in and nabbed that brownie and was out before anyone was the wiser. I was savouring my first bite when I run straight into my boss. She looks at me as I drop crumbs of brownie from the side of my mouth. I gulp the first bite and then blurt out. "Evil brownies." She looks at me for a second and then says, "Well I hope you didn't finish them all, I was on the way and was waiting for someone to make the first move." So we both quickly went back and snapped up another piece.

Limiting ourselves to brownies was a respectable move. We didn't overdo it and we left plenty for the rest of the guests. There are occasions when some guys go in and nab one of everything before retiring to their desk. They figure it is the company's responsibilty to feed them. Me on the other hand; I don't think it's their responsibility but it's a lovely little bonus. Now if you'll excuse me... I seek to raid the kitchen for leftovers!

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