A Window on Me

I have often been asked what life was like for me growing up as the child of immigrant parents who came to the United States after spending their entire lives in India. It was a difficult question to answer because it was simply not something you could answer with one sentence. When my parents and many other families who came here in the late 1960's and 1970's, they came with the intention of staying here and raising their family in order to take advantage of the many benefits that come from living in this country. Life was different from what they had been used to in India and despite the hardships, they struggled and persevered and managed to firmly establish themselves in American society and American culture. That's not to say that they forgot their roots and origins or that they let us forget it either. These days, it's a lot different than it was when my parents came here. There are Indian grocery stores in almost every city; there are just as many Indian restaurants. There are Indians in most every conceivable part of society and for good or bad, they are now quite mainstream.

For those coming afterwards, those who have immigrated here later on life has most certainly been a struggle, but it was a different type from what my parents and others from their generation experienced. Their life, their culture, their ideals had never been properly portrayed in my estimation. Whenever you looked at Hindi movies which had themes of Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) returning or visiting India, you invariably had scenes of egotistical, evil people who could care less for their culture and cared even less for those around them. Those of us born and raised here were often cast as the villains and that always bugged me and continues to bug me to this day. I often wished that there was some medium out there to show people what life was like for my parents' generation when they first arrived in this country and this past weekend, I finally saw a movie that does just that.

"The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri was published several years ago and was quite well received. When I heard that they were making a movie version of the book I was even more pleased. The book tells the tale of a Bengali family in which the husband and wife are married and emmigrate to the United States. The book chronicles their life and their struggles and the family that they raise in this country while attempting to hold on to the cultural ties to their home. For the movie, the timeline was altered slightly and it ironically meshed with the timeline of my family and our lives. While watching the film this past weekend there were so many scenes and incidents that reminded me of my life that I felt as if I was watching someone put into film what my parents had talked about when they first came here.

From the struggles of figuring out the washing machine to the desperation of using cereal to create salty snacks available on the streets in India for pennies; the movie shows so many things that my family could relate to. Although we aren't Bengali, I think there are enough common themes in this film that those of us who grew up in this generation can identify with the story. Indian actors Tabu and Irfan Khan are so understated in their roles that they give a needed dose of reality to the roles of the husband and wife. The choice of casting Kal Penn as the son, Gogol, was not an obvious one. Given his roles in movies such as "Van Wilder" and "Harold and Kumar" it may be difficult for people to think of him as anyone else, but he manages to encompass the conflicts that many American-born Indians deal with all the time. Director Mira Nair's eventual choice of casting an actual American-born Indian as opposed to casting an Bollywood star was a wise one. No matter how good the actor, it's difficult to portray something you may never have experienced.

As newer and newer generations of Indians come to this country, they tend to want to insulate themselves from Americans simply because there is such a large and diverse Indian population now that they don't have to involve themselves with Americans. That's not to say that they are anti-social or anti-American but it's simply a case where because Indian culture has now firmly been established here, it is easier to re-create life like in India in this country. When my parents came here they knew that they were here to stay and at that time, although there was a sizeable Indian community, it was ridiculous to attempt to stay away from all other non-Indians. As a result, we have many many non-Indian friends who are as close to us as any family member might be.

I can't say that the movie is a one-hundred percent accurate portrayal of my life or the life my parents experienced when they first came to this country, but I can say that it is more accurate than any other film I have ever seen. Reactions within the Indian community have varied with many younger Indians complaining that the film wasn't all that great and that it's not a picture on the average life of an Indian. It isn't. It's a window on the lives of a generation of Indians who came to this country before much of the current crop and helped open many of the doors that now stand wide open for many others to walk through and exploit. If you see the movie and don't take anything away from it, that's okay, but for those of you, like me, who grew up with parents who dragged you from cultural show and family gatherings to trips with other Indian families and made you do reports on Gandhi and dressed you up in Indian clothes on holidays and put up a Christmas tree so that you wouldn't feel left out of the merriment of the season and did so many other things for you, then you'll see a part of yourself in this movie too.