Meetings: The Bane of Office Life

It's about 7:30 in the morning. You're still reeling from the shock of the alarm going off an hour ago and so you're still sluggish. Someone finished the last cup of coffee in the coffee pot despite the fact that it's only 7:30 and as usual you're the one who has to refresh the pot. You sit there and wonder how difficult it is to remove an old coffee filter and put in a new one with fresh coffee grounds in it. Whatever the reason, your salvation and caffeine kick are a few precious minutes away. The smell of the coffee grounds helps keep you semi-conscious as you recount all of the day's assignments. Reports are due and so you'll need the kick to keep focused and ready to tackle the next set of issues.

You return to your desk awaiting your coffee pot to fill when the phone begins ringing. It's one of your bosses asking you to sit in on a meeting on a topic you are vaguely familiar with. Your boss has been called away to another meeting which he is reluctant to go to so you've been asked to take one for the team and go to the originally scheduled one. Reading over the e-mail that was forwarded a few minutes before reveals thte meeting to be on new technology that has been implemented and will soon be used by all companies. There is a raging debate over whether to use this technology or not and so this is a meeting to apparently discuss the benefits of using the system.

You shake your head in dread knowing that these types of meetings that start off with a simple agenda and get blown up to something even worse due to the fact that side-bar discussions yield side-bar discussions which rarely involve you or seek your input, yet, you are stuck trying to stay focused on the issues so that you can brief your boss and teammates later. Coffee is definitely a necessity now. You stumble and lumber your way back to the kitchenette and find that the pot has finally stopped brewing and the rich aroma of coffee wafts through the hallway. There's still about five minutes before the meeting is due to begin so you decide to savor a sip or two before going to the conference room. As you approach the kitchenette you hear the coffee pot being returned to it's hot plate and the sound of footsteps quickly retreating down the opposite hall. You enter the kitchen only to find that the person just in the kitchen had finished off virtually the last of the coffee and left it for someone else to refill.

Muttering curses in languages you never realized you knew you glance at your watch and quickly scramble to brew another pot quickly. Filter in place you start the process and wait for the coffee to start flowing. Not wanting to wait until the pot is filled, you place your mug under the spigot and let the initial coffee flow directly into your cup. Several colleagues walk in and give you looks regarding your impatience but when you mutter, "Meeting," then nod their heads and give you new looks of sympathy. Gathering your things you rush to the conference room. For semi-non-important folks like you, you are generally relegated to the wall seats away from the conference table. Your writing surface is now your notepad on your knee. Coffee mug goes underneath your chair and so it begins.

You listen to the briefing begin and already you can tell that the majority of the room is also suffering the effects of an early morning meeting. You can feel the heaviness of the eyelids and the drone of the voice of the briefer. You stifle a yawn and rub your forehead in the old Japanese style of preventing yawns in front of those of higher rank. Most of the others along the wall with you are also working that delicate balance of writing on legs while taking the occasional sip of coffee. You switch from your right foot on left knee to left foot on right knee as a way of preventing a cramp but also as a way to keep up activity meant to keep you awake. The briefer drones on. You pray that if a discussion breaks out you won't be asked a question you have no answer to but also, you pray that the discussion is kept brief.

One hour passes and then another. Suddenly the cup of coffee has worked its way through your system and to your bladder and so you begin the process of trying to hold it while attempting to appear nonchalant in the meeting. You notice others around you seem to have zoned out and are fading. The slide number is 8 though you really only had 12 to go through. Funny how the shorter the actual number of PowerPoint slides, the longer the brief and vice versa. You try to concentrate on the briefing hoping that it will distract you from your urgent needs but it doesn't work. You need to go soon. Finally the briefer appears to be wrapping up. Almost done. He asks the dreaded query, "Questions? Comments?" Eyes scan the room, some looking like they will kill the person who asks anything. It appears that the withering looks may have worked and so you begin to leap out of your seat for the door but just then someone asks something.

You sit back down and begin the process of waiting again for a few minutes. The slight release on your muscles in your bladder that you had done was a mistake and now the sense of urgency is increased. You curl into a ball and attempt to stretch hoping that some position will help keep you awake but also help return the bladder to the proper holding position. The answer to the question goes on and so do the follow ups. You glance casually at your watch hoping that time will have passed quickly and that someone else will need the room so that you'll be forced to vacate. Finally the meeting disperses and you rush off to the bathroom and relief. Tension gone, you return to your desk only to find that you have another meeting request beginning in ten minutes. So it begins again.