Killing for Coffee

As my brother would say, "it's been another week so it's time for a blog about coffee.... the hot button issue on this website." Well he's absolutely right. This latest story comes to you from New Haven, Connecticut where apparently patrons at a Dunkin' Donuts are irritable in the mornings before they have their coffee. Very irritable. Mr. Martin Forte was unfortunate enough to find out just how irritable several days ago when he stood in line to place his order. Witnesses state that the line was long and that many were in a rush to get their order and go. The customer behind Mr. Forte took exception to his asking how much coffee a large cup held.

Apparently the customer was so upset that he decided to speed things up by taking a box-cutter from his pocket and slashing Mr. Forte across the neck before leaving in a huff. Thankfully the other patrons of the place didn't jump ahead in line but did manage to provide some help to Mr. Forte and take him to the hospital where he received treatment and is in stable condition. In case you're wondering, the coffee slasher is still at large and no arrests have been made at present. However, it just goes to show how impatient we are collectively becoming. I can understand the frustration that must come in the mornings when you're looking for a boost of caffeine and you're running late for work and the guy ahead of you is asking questions like, "How much coffee does a large coffee hold?" I can understand the frustration but not enough to condone slashing someone across the neck.

I have been in situations before where I've been accused of jumping in line ahead of someone (when that person wasn't even in line before I got there) or taking to long to make a transaction (I had correct change and I was determined to get rid of it). My logic says that if you're running that far behind, then why bother taking the time out to get a cup of coffee in the first place? Is this a sign of how addictive caffeine can be? I mean is it a case where coffee denial is leading to increased levels of violence? Perhaps there will be a study released in the coming days from a reputable university or research company that states, lower levels of caffeine in violent people can lead to increases in violence inducing hormones within the body. Makes sense doesn't it? There. I've just given some med student a killer PhD thesis. Pardon the pun.

But seriously, do I need to be worried about people behind me in line now too? With the state of paranoia running rampant these days is it any wonder that we are getting more and more paranoid as time goes on? I remember the days when the Soup Nazi was probably the worst person you could run into but now the customers are the ones you have to worry about. I usually know what I want when I walk into a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts but on those rare occasions when I want to try something new, I don't want to order in fear of being beaten up or stabbed to death. I mean I hope this doesn't mean that soon we'll have metal detectors installed at the entrances to all coffee shops. Coffee is probably one of the more popular commuter drinks out there, perhaps we can convince the TSA to start patrolling coffee shops too.