Flying on Fumes

Well as if we didn't have enough to worry about when flying these days, there are more items for us to be a bit worried about. What with all the complaining about being charged for practically everything these days on airline flights (from what was once normal meal service to an extra piece of checked luggage... and sometimes for a single piece of checked luggage) it seems only logical that in the face of rising fuel costs, airlines would take actions meant to help ease their costs. Unfortunately, this latest course of action seems a bit riskier than other attempts that have been made to be fiscally conservative and it has to do with gas. I'm not talking about passengers with upset stomachs being grouped together but rather how much fuel is loaded into a plane.

It seems that the Airline Pilots Association representing nearly 5,200 airline pilots in the United States took out a full page ad in several papers across the nation which expressed their shock and outrage at the fact that some airlines (cough cough... U.S. Airways... cough cough) have been putting in just enough fuel in some of their flights that will literally get them from point A to point B and that's pretty much it. Now I've had some flight training so I know it is quite possible to calculate down to the almost the tenth of a mile just how far you can go on how much fuel based on weight and predicted speed. What they don't really help you plan for is how much longer you can remain in the air in light of problems like bad weather diversions or weather problems. I guess it helps explain a whole lot of the problems airlines have been running into these days and why pilots have been taking actions that seem odd at times.

I mean remember the cases where passengers were kept on board the plane with no A/C running and no other ammenities made available to them? Why? Well think about this; when you're in your car and you leave the engine on, the A/C continues to blow relatively cold air but it also continues to burn fuel since the engine is on and idling. In planes it's much the same thing but there's no 'accesories' function on most planes that allow you to leave the engines off and have the A/C working full blast. So if they pull away from the gate and are on internal power and you are made to wait, you will wait so that you can save on fuel since you won't have enough to get to where you're going otherwise. And I don't know about you but I don't fancy having to divert due to lack of fuel on board.

Now I'm not defending a pilot's choice to conserve fuel when and how possible but I am hoping that some of these airline leaders come to their senses and realize just how dangerous this could be. Do you want to save fuel and costs for flights? There are other things they could do; all of which would probably be about or as logical and dangerous as this fuel cutting / conserving effort currently underway. What could they do? Well given that most airlines have little to no service anymore, you don't need to have extensive flight crews so just have one crew member for the entire plane. Food service has been cut other than in business and first class, why not cut it for everyone. After all, airline food has never been a culinary flight of fancy so why not get rid of it completely? There are a few pounds right there?

But why stop there? Get rid of inflight magazines and catalogues. Most of us lug some form of sustinence and entertainment on board planes when we travel these days anyways so why do we need anything other than the flight safety card? One magazine may not seem like much but try lifting about 100 and then see how heavy that stack becomes. There's another ten minutes of fuel in the air. But still... why stop there? Most domestic flights are about five hours at the most (from east to west coast and vice versa). Why not close off theh bathrooms for those flights unless absolutely necessary? I mean if you have a doctor's note saying you have a weak bladder or something okay.. then the flight attendant can let you in but seriously, on most domestic flights, very few people use the facilities. On long haul overseas flights its a different story but for short hops if you can't hold it then you need to see a doctor anyways. There now; with the bathrooms closed off, you can then elminate sewage weight and water weight for the bathrooms and toilets. Yet anoher massive saving on weight.

But finally, given that we're in an age of computer renaissance, why not take the ultimate leap and get rid of at least one pilot? GPS systems and auto piloting systems are run so precisely that having a pilot can be a redundancy right? This means you have nearly double the flight crews available to fly so you can fly more routes or fly popular routes more frequently. Wow! Think about that. We are talking about single-handedly doing something to revitalize the airline industry. Now if someone in a major airline happens to stumble upon my humble blog and discovers this wonderous post, I'm sure they may consider running with this concept and transforming their airline into the low-cost competitor that this market truly needs. I probably won't get the due credit for coming up with a plot that seems worth of the Joker but it can't be any worse that flying on a jet with barely enough fuel to get you to where you're going.