Seek and Ye Shall Find

I knew that if I searched long enough I would find the reason behind the fact that there seem to be so many 'un-road-worthy' drivers out there. You know the ones I mean. No. I'm not talking about those who drive ten miles below the speed limit in the left lane or even those who weave in and out of traffic. I'm talking about the ones who drive with such ignorance of what they're doing that they don't even ever realize that they are probably the most dangerous part of a person's daily commute. Now normally I shake my head in utter dismay and try to figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of the day but the past few weeks on my drive to and from work I have encountered a plethora of bad drivers; so much so that I just felt I had to do some cathartic therapy and blog about it to feel better.

So the manual that is pictured is an actual book written by a pair of authors who I believe have gone through the same frustrations that I have and decided to make a book out of it that shows just how sarcastic an attitude they have adopted with regards to the driving skills (or lack thereof) of some people out there. Take for example the two geniuses (and I use the term so loosely that an Airbus 380 could fit through it) that I encountered on my commute into work this morning. Now I grant you that for anyone who has driven in the Washington area, traffic can certainly seem daunting to a new or sheepish driver. People are a bit on the aggresive side and tend to drive quite fast yet that doesn't excuse the way some people choose to drive.

I was merging on to the Dulles Toll Road this morning when ahead of me I noticed one car several places ahead of me had his indicator on (thankfully) showing that he wanted to merge onto the highway. Now I could tell he was of the school of osmosis merging (a term I believe I have coined) which I apply to anyone who simply gives and indicator or continues in a lane until it no longer exists and then happens to merge into the next lane whether it is open or not. This fellow at least had the decency to give his indicator but then didn't speed up (despite the fact that he was entering a highway) and continued on at his stately pace of 45 MPH despite the fact that the speed limit is 55. I realize that not everyone can accelerate at the same speed but still, no modern car (and it was a late model Toyota) will accelerate that slowly. He continued on at a snail's pace and then finally merged onto the toll road.

Seeing this ridiculous display, I adjusted my distance and speed to the car ahead of me and the first chance I got I merged and moved to the left lanes to give this joker a wide berth but it seems that this fellow wasn't done yet. He continued giving his indicator (showing that he likely wanted to get into the far left lane in order to take one of the exits to go to Dulles Airport in the express lanes) and proceeded to merge left. Now if you want to drive 45 MPH in the right most lane then please do so however bear in mind a driving rule that states that if you are being passed on the left and right then you should move to the right until you are no longer being passed on the right. My addendum to that rule is that if you are then being passed on the shoulder, pull over, shut the car off and walk away. You shouldn't be driving. But this fellow was determined to continue driving at 45 MPH and move over to the left lane.

Most other drivers by this point had realized that this fellow was a menace and were moving around him and trying to get out of his way. As I approached him (he was two lanes away from me by this point) I could see that cars were slowing down to allow him to merge into their lane in front of them but he wasn't taking the hint so then everyone would speed up and continue on their merry way but this fellow seemed to process lane openings at the same pace that he was driving. Moving like molassas he merged another lane left. Right in front of a car that was approaching at high speed. Luckily the driver in back was quick to react and stopped himself from slamming into the slow car but still, it just shows how ignorant this fellow was and watching in my rear view mirror I could tell that he was oblivious to what he had nearly just caused.

But that doesn't excuse or explain the actions of the next joker I encountered several miles down the road later on the highway. This fellow was apparently lost and was trying to figure out where to go. He had been going in the right lane and then realized that perhaps he should move to the middle. Giving his indicator for several miles (I was well behind him so I could see all this as I was approaching his vicinity) the car behind and to his left slowed considerably to let him in. It was nice to see such niceties after what I had seen a few miles before. This was all well and good when suddenly, merger slowed down by hitting the brakes. The distance between the two cars was such that again a near collision occured and the car in back swerved to the left to avoid an accident and merger began looking around in a panic as if he were lost. Now slowing down is one thing but this guy went from around 55 down to 40 in the span of two seconds. Great for testing the brakes on his car but that didn't mean the guy behind him wanted to test his as well.

These two cases show (to me at least) that many drivers out there just shouldn't be driving. It's not because they can't drive but because they drive so foolishly that they rely on the skills and capabilities of the drivers around them to ensure that they avoid accidents. These two were accidents waiting to happen and I'm sure the ignorant drivers were completely unaware of what they were very nearly the cause of. It's frustrating for the rest of us because though many of us try to be nice and give way or yield to merging drivers or slow down to let someone into our lane so that they can make their way over to take an exit, when people ignore the rest of the drivers on the road it makes it a very dangerous situation for everyone out there. Perhaps the book pictured above should become required reading for these types of foolish drivers. Of course I would tell them straight out though that this is meant to be a book on what not to do in order to save themselves and the people around them.