Coffee Peeves

Let me start off by saying that coffee is not a requirement for me. I can go any morning without a cup of coffee and I will not be dragging around after two hours, nor will I be dozing off at my desk. That being said however, nothing starts your day like a hot cup of coffee. How can I not be affected by coffee yet consider it a good way to start the day? Well simple! I drink coffee in the mornings because it's a good way to warm up. Although we are approaching summer quite rapidly, some of those cool mornings, it's nice to have a hot cup of coffee to warm things up. It's more of a psychological thing these days. Still, despite not being one of those hardcore drinkers who would like to have coffee pumped into them intraveneously.

Working in an office, coffee becomes a religion. Many worship at the alter of the coffee pot but there are some who choose to defile their savior and treat it with disrespect. What do I mean by that? Well, let's take a look at typical scenarios that one always runs into in almost every office. There's the duty of making the first pot of the day. That usually falls to either myself one of the other gentlemen in my office. Being first or second into the office means that by default I am usually tasked with making the first pot. I never mind making it because it gives me total control over how strong or weak to make it. We usually go through this first pot by about mid-morning. Again, typically, the last person to finish off the pot will make the next one. However, almost every office has a handfull of jokers who will pour the last cup and then walk out with nary a feeling of guilt.

I can't tell you the number of times I or a member of my team have walked in to get a cup before a meeting only to get piddly drips from the pot. Ugh! You talk about frustrating. What about the guys (and ladies... I'm not saying you don't do it too!) who remove the pots in mid fill to fill up their coffee cups? Some would argue that it doesn't matter, the coffee will eventually be poured out of the pot anyways, this just skips that interim step. Still, it's the principle that matters! The rest of us wait patiently with mugs in hand, and Joe Rush-about comes in and takes some before the rest! Beware! The next time I'll slip in the decaf and then brew a pot of regular for the rest of the civilized drinkers.

How about the messy characters? Who are they? Well they're the ones who will make coffee (or in some cases tea) and leave their mess all over the counter for the rest of us to wallow in. They start pouring the sugar as soon as they pick it up and leave a mini trail so that those of us coming in later can follow it like our own trail of bread crumbs a la Hansel and Gretel. They steep their tea bags and then leave their tea bags on the counter. What's up with that? I can't imagine the way their kitchens must look at home. How much effort does it take to move a foot and throw your tea bag away? How much effort does it take to wipe up your mess? Apparently too much.

We also have creamer in the fridge. We usually have something like CoffeeMate or something to add to our coffee. Typically the bottle says to shake before pouring. Now there are those who pour the creamer but don't close the top all the way. Then when those of us coming in later go to give the creamer a good shake, we have our own little cream rain shower. How refreshing.

Lastly, one of the greatest sins that has occasionally been committed at the 'temple of the bean' is the brewing of decaf in a pot of regular. I cannot tell you of the outbursts that have resulted from someone doing such a thing. Needless to say such mistakes are few and far between but if you ever witness the wrath of a coffee drinker given a cup of decaf, you will know what anger and vehemence are. So gentle readers, keep those coffee mugs warm and have a nice cup of java.