Airline Travel: The Not-So-Speculative Future

Welcome to the future. The not-so-distant future but the future nonetheless. We shall take a journey together to witness where the future of the airline industry is headed. Mind you this is not meant to lay complete blame for the future on the airlines. I do realize that they are mostly operating at a loss these days due to high fuel prices and other mitigating circumstances but still, it gives them as well as us a moment to savor the relative sanity of the present state of airline travel and a moment to mentally prepare ourselves for the inevitable future.

So. For the sake of arguement let's assume we're booked on a flight from Washington to New York. It's a relatively short flight of about an hour so you don't even think to consider booking a indirect flight. You book a non-stop flight weeks in advance knowing that the prices will be cheaper and you'll most likely get the seat you want. You arrive approximately six hours before your flight so that you have enough time to check in your luggage and clear security. Now that airlines have eliminated the overhead bins and space underneath the seat in front of you (the alternate carry-on storage area on all planes) remains the same, carry-on luggage has almost completely ceased to exist. Anything larger than a purse is not likely going to be coming on board with you. A positive note? You are paying more for having additional headroom thanks to the elimination of the overhead compartments.

You wait in line to check in your bags and carry-on luggage and pay the requisite fees. For the sake of further arguement let's say that the airlines run the occasional special where if you pay to have to bags checked in you get the third free. Of course if you are even an ounce over the weight limit you will be charged the normal fees. So you check in and have your bags taken away. Just before issuing your tickets to you, the ticketing agent informs you that due to limited plane availability, your direct non-stop flight has been cancelled and you'll be flying to Los Angeles, have an hour layover and then catch the flight to New York. With little option but to either take that flight or wait until the next day for the usual direct flight, you decide to take the connecting flight.

You go through the security process which has been streamlined by a moderate amount thanks to the virtual elimination of all hand luggage coming along with you. Purses are given a cursory glance and the prime concern is liquids or foods being smuggled through security. Everyone passes through the 'virtual strip' machine so that the security personnel can check your intimate persons for illegal substances and weapons. The whole process doesn't take very long and within an hour you are through security. Hitting the concourse and making your way to the gate you realize that you are famished so you pay $15 for a bottle of water and $30 for a sub at a snack shop located close to your gate. Your boarding time approaches and it's announced that your flight is delayed. You wait for an hour and again they announce there is another delay. You go to the desk to inquire about alternate arrangements and are told that for a $200 re-booking fee they can move you to the next day's direct flight to New York. You realize you've already invested time, energy and money in making the journey today so you stick to your guns and wait it out.

Finally two and a half hours after the scheduled departure time you are told that your flight has arrived and is ready for boarding. The airlines have cancelled seat reservations (except for in First and Business class) and so you have to make a mad dash for a decent seat. They figure if it's good enough for movie theatres then it's good enough for the airline industry. You rush on board and manage to find a seat that seems comfy and you settle in for a nice ride for the next five hours. There's no television or entertainment system since its removal lightens the aircraft and means less fuel needed for flight. Hoping you have charged your iPod you settle in for the flight. No A/C vents above you as the A/C system takes up a lot of weight too. Newer planes have implemented the modern window system. What this is is vents located along the front of the plane that ingest air as the plane is flying and channels it to a duct system in the plane. When the plane's moving then you get air otherwise.... tough luck.

Need a pillow? $7 Need a blanket with it? Used or un-used? Used is $7 or un-used is $10. Want a seat that reclines? Pay a dollar in change into the slot in the seat. Want to have a bag of potato chips? $15 Want to have a glass of water or another beverage? $20. Want to have an airline with a flight attendant on it? Should have paid for first class or business class. The rest of us schlep on our own. Want to use the bathroom to answer the call of nature? Please deposit another $5 into the slot. Finally you take off and head out west to California. Arriving in LA after five hours you check to see that your connection to New York is delayed. You wait and wait only to go through the same drill as in Washington. Finally you leave again and manage to reach New York almost 13 hours after initially leaving the house. If you had ridden a pedal bicycle you probably would have reached there faster but be that as it may you have finally arrived. Now just pay $35 to get the luggage belt started and you can retrieve your bags and go home.