Stretching to Make a Point

I'm making a plea to the next administration, whomever they are, that I want to be made the Ambassador to a foreign country, any foreign country. Now some of you may think that this is a strange way of making a case to become an Ambassador given the fact that I don't think either candidate or their running mates have the slightest clue as to who I am and what my qualifications are. You may be right in saying that but here and now I'm going to lay down some facts that will prove to you that I'm a worthy candidate for Ambassadorship to represent our great country.

For one thing I look foreign. Anyone who tells you different is probably not looking at the right picture but I'm definitely 'exotic' in my looks in that I have black hair, brown eyes and a milky coffee complexion. Maybe that's stretching the truth but hey, I'm stretching to make a point here aren't I? Okay, so why is that an advantage? Well seeing as how I am going to be representing our country in foreign lands, wouldn't it be more comforting for foreign leaders to see a face that resembles their's rather than a white face? No matter how you slice it, human nature tends to distrust anyone who doesn't look like us so I have a great advantage in the fact that I could represent us to countries like India (obviously) or any other in the region for that matter since I look like them. Heck. I have been mistaken for Greek, Italian and French before, if I can pass for that to the casual observer then I can pass for it anywhere in the world can't I?

Next qualifying factor is the fact that I have travelled the world a fair bit. I have been to India numerous times, I have been to England and I have been to Mexico. Granted I was there for a sum total of six hours but hey, it required the use of my passport didn't it? I have been to Canada on several occasions and there again I had to use my passport. I have held a valid US passport since the age of 8 months (give or take a few months) and so I have the foreign country experience to make a good Ambassador. I can find most countries on the map of the world and though I can't see any foreign countries from my backyard, I have actually been to foreign countries so I guess that's a major qualification. But if you need more ammunition, then how about the fact that I have watched foreign movies from countries like France, India, Japan and China? I have eaten foods from foreign lands and heck, even some of the video games I've played take place in foreign countries. I've done negotiations with foreign leaders too. Granted they were leaders of stores in which I wanted to buy something but they can qualify as negotiations with foreign powers can't they?

But why stop on visitations to foreign countries? I have read up about them also. I, like many other people in this country, didn't graduate from high school or college and then pack up my bags and travel the world thanks to the charity of my parents. Heck no. I too, like so many Americans, have been working. I have been working since the ripe age of 14. I have been in offices since then and have been working to not only get better at my job but to also expand my worldly horizons. I have read up on history and on countries of interest and I like to think that my overall knowledge base is quite significant. Or at least significant enough to not come off as a moron if asked a general question about the state of the world today.

So is that it? Is that all I need to be a good leader and representative of our country in a foreign land? Well perhaps I should further qualify myself. I have studied economics and finance in my undergraduate and graduate studies and I have seen how various systems work or fail through examples and real life case studies so I'm fairly well versed in understanding how a system of economy can work or fail based on mitigating circumstances. Plus I can talk circles around an issue until such time that I can find something that sounds convincing or at least seems to placcate someone long enough that they would leave me alone. For example, if asked about the current economic state of the nation, I would respond that, "it's certainly not a positive situation but neither is it a complete negative because if we choose to look at the reasons behind the negativity we'll find that it was driven by some positive efforts that have been negatively implemented and due to the desire for a return on investment that would yield positive results we've been negatively forced to concede that negativity is a constant and potential positive yet negative result of the efforts undertaken for the economy and seeing as how it was a maverick-like decision, it can only be a positive in this negative climate." I think my case for Ambassadorship is therefore quite strong. And heck, if I don't know the answer then I can certainly do the research for ya and then get back to ya. Unfortunately none of my college professors ever accepted that answer so should the American people? Maybe I should throw my hat in the ring to be the next Vice President.